absentee balance

it's amazing how out-of-balance you can get at times when you have so little direction.  opportunities for an old man in today's working world seem to be slim to none.  attempts to secure a traveling job on the east coast, or even here in iowa, have been frustrating to say the least.  i've occupied my time working out: swimming, spinning, running, paddling and doing yard work.  the leaves continue to fall and yesterday i paddled on whitebreast bay with whitecaps and steady headwinds blowing 15kts, while viewing what is left of fall colors.  being in shape is superseded by the breathlessness of waiting for the phone to ring with someone saying "i want you".  i'm not holding my breath, mind you, but it is always possible to imagine.

for the first year i don't have transitional pics of the tree outside my office window because i don't have an office anymore.  the lake is my office now and my co-workers are pelicans, gulls, ducks and geese.  things could definitely be worse...  we should celebrate good health and the time to enjoy it.

lost

without my camera i'm a bit lost for posting and journaling but am a bit more inspired after listening to Chris Howes, jazz violinist, last night.  i even got an invitation to piano lessons by a minister also attending.  this am while surfing youtube i listened to leonard cohen's "anthem" and the phrase that caught me was, "there is a crack in everything, that's what lets in the Light".  i'm back to the beginning of my blog (i know some people don't like the word 'blog') where mention of "Light" had the original meaning for me.  now to reestablish some meaning in this disorganized world in which i exist....

lost words

life definitely catches you unaware at times.  during RAGBRAI someone repurposed my camera from my bag to theirs and now i'm unable to document my activities as before.  my thousand words per has shrunk to decidedly lower levels and my lack of accounting for what is occurring has increased. 

last month i finally threw in the proverbial towel and decided against setting up a new clinic.  i had to let my employees go and start looking for alternative employment myself.  in all my years, with all the jobs i've held, i've never been on unemployment so filing with workforce was a bit degrading.  i've paid in thousands of dollars though so can rationalize that it was savings put away for just this moment.  i hate to be part of the statistics of why this country is in trouble when i said there never was an excuse for "not working".  it is easy to be judgmental regarding other people's troubles until it hits you smack in the face.  i hope to get my act together soon and file paperwork for licenses on the east coast and by january take a traveling job that gets us closer to family at least for 13 weeks at a time.  it is so difficult to leave the place you've been and called home for 38 years, but nothing is static and i started out as a vagabond anyway. 

having more free time has allowed me to get back in shape physically, if not mentally, and finish a couple projects set aside for so long.  i'll take my kayak along wherever i go and continue to fill my bucket list of places yet unpaddled.. 

"let us go then , you and i, while the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherised upon a table." -- T.S. Eliot, J. Alfred Prufrock

don't let them know you're coming..

Clair Skies on takeoff across Red Rock Lake

"when you go after honey with a balloon, the great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming." -- winnie the pooh

my peeps

 

hangin' w/ my peeps

 

whitebreast reflections

hickory ridge wayfinder

here's lookin' at "you" kid

"reflection must be reserved for solitary hours" -- Jane Austen

delays

Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. -- Herman Melville, Moby Dick 

trainspotting from the DSM river in Ottumwa

lingering on the computer has prevented me from swift appointment of my paddling rounds... but now to the water i go...

renewal

 “The cure for anything is salt water - tears, sweat, or the sea.”
― Isak Dinesen, Seven Gothic Tales

it has been a long time since i posted or accounted for my activities, but being unemployed has left me a bit disorganized and aimless.  our project to start a clinic in a VA bldg. fell through after 4 months and now we are looking at another place.  hopefully in the week we will come to terms.  in the meantime i have been repurposing myself through swimming, spinning, paddling and watching HGTV and the Food Channel.  it's hard to avoid the feeling of worthlessness in not being gainful and productive but at least the yard gets mowed and my tomatoes look great.  this weekend is my 45th class reunion from HS and the crusty old grads will be rolling in from around the country.  many are now retired and enjoying the fruits of their labors.  there weren't many "old football jocks" still playing this year so at least even if i didn't cut a record or write a book i can say i'm not totally "over the hill".  i still say i'd give my football career to be able to play the piano.  if only we would have known what is truly important back when sports seemed so great.  well, i guess it's time to head to the lake to find some solace.

out standing in the field

nature's artistry

back waters of flooded whitebreast creek

one closes - another opens?

three score and three

we are met on a great battlefield of that war.  we have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those that here gave their lives that that nation might live.  memorizing the gettysburg address was a challenge for my idle mind but a diversion from daily routine.

loch red rock monster

robert's creek and red rock on even terms - running the tunnel

newbie joining the armada

“A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.” ― William Wordsworth

rec boaters on a spring afternoon on whitebreast

lake monster lurking in whitebreast bay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

new beginnings

“One can begin so many things with a new person! - even begin to be a better man.” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life

granddaughter Mia Elisabeth - 3 weeks old

 

second generations

it's always great to see father/son paddlers.  mike and kenny keefer on red rock.

“They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.” ― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

patching leaks

“In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.” -Warren Buffett

since moving home i've accumulated experiences without accountability.  for the past month i've been transitioning out of hospital clinic, massage clinic downtown and filling storage and garage with tons of books and equipment.  i've kept busy with spinning, swimming and paddling but lack motivation to move ahead quickly with return to work.  the new clinic awaits a lease signing and progress to construction, but is taking shape.  for now the days are filled with organization, CSI, NCIS, and the Walking Dead...  i feel a bit of a zombie now myself..

nature's artwork on the back deck by morning light, ready for the 106F swimspa

lost in the woods on a snowy morning, with miles to go..

elk rock journey last weekend, the ice is almost gone..

hopefully our soon to be new clinic: "heritage wellness center at knoxville historic village"

like a you or a me

“For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.”
― E.E. Cummings

i need a gps for finding my way in this business creation.  the endless process of creating a new business involves so much and at my advanced age a bit daunting.  to ease the process i've been working out on a daily basis and know that spinning class, while kicking my butt, will give me more confidence that i can translate into possible success... but some really painful quads.   there is a 90 year old lady next to me in class who is scary intimidating for the entire hour.  i need to get some pics loaded soon to get back to flow here..

open water

"a great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination or a headache" -- catherine the great

shelf ice 8" thick piled up by the wind at whitebreast on red rock lake

crumb ice blown against the ice shelf sounding like wind chimes



sunset on whitebreast bay seen through polarized glasses



with ice off on the lake i put in at whitebreast ramp and shadowed the ice shelf around the bay for a couple hours sunday.  now with lower temps and expected 12" of snow i'm back to xc skiing this weekend.  with change in weather comes a "great wind".

the life aquatic

"no human being, however great, or powerful, was ever so free as a fish." -- john ruskin, 'the two paths'

take your marks..

 i had the opportunity to swim in the FSU outdoor pool monday and just got so intoxicated with the cool early morning and warm water that i almost forgot to stop swimming.  after two miles i thought i could keep swimming all day, but breakfast beckoned..  daughter stacia never got to compete here but was relegated to the indoor while swimming in college.  thanks for helping me find it jordan!

FSU outdoor pool in tallahassee, diving well w/ lap lanes

jordan and aerial artists w/o a catcher in the big top, need a better camera!

tight rope walkers

live oak w/ spanish moss, mount dora florida

lions and tigers and bears.. and ligers oh my

"all argument will vanish before one touch of nature." -- george colman the younger, poor gentleman

our recent trip to sarasota was to work at the "big cat habitat" with all the rescued exotic animals close by.  four days of living "with" the animals was surreal.  the rosaire family, long established in the circus world of animal trainers, were delightful people with a rich history of caring for these magnificent creatures.  this is truly a "sanctuary" where they can live out their lives with caring individuals and an admiring audience.  like us, they must work for their meals but have never known the wild.  the ligers were bred inadvertently in captivity beyond anyone's belief that it was possible for lions and tigers to mate.  the extravaganza on saturday was great and lasted two hours with a wide variety of animal acts.  just wished i could have had my kayak on the beach too...

quests

"sunshine is my quest" -- winston churchill

the days vary with the hour now and a sunlit day is rare indeed.  with blogger not allowing uploads from my files for a couple weeks i struggled not being able to journal.  i realize no one reads or views these lines but to mine own self be true..  now the contributions record the difficulty achieving the open water, with ice shelf on the ramp intermittently with thickness to resist rocks and hot words.  last week my sledge created an opening and the weight of me in the boat broke through to the channel.  saturday i put in at the south tailwater thinking the ramp was unusable but after carrying the boat 100 yards and paddling downriver i found the ramp free of ice and laughing at me heartily.  nature always wins.. rather like sidewalks and little girl's knees..

change

"it isn't the mountain ahead theat wears you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe." -- robert service

you'd know that just when everything else went into flux blogger would change the way you upload pics and i'd be lost in the cyberfog of what to do..... maybe it is just my brain now that i have so little sway on what will happen in the future... guess i'll go paddle (it's only -20 degrees F).  they've taken away my thousands of words..

a new day/year

"enjoy the present day, trusting very little to the morrow." -- horace, carmina

i had to crack 20' of ice and then tugboat the floes out of the way to make the open water.  a two hour paddle in zero temps was warm as long as i continued to move.  a great way to start an unpredictable new year.  glad the channel didn't ice back up like last time when i had to roll over on my side on the shelf and slide back to the ramp. 

waiting on the "fiscal cliff"? 

wishing everyone a happy new year and safe paddling.